missing the small ones...

It's true. I leave in 6 days. And while I am extremely excited and looking forward to all the God opportunities which are guaranteed to be provided, I'm sad, as well. I am going to miss my family and my friends. I am especially going to miss my little ones. :)

My summer joke has been that I am a single mother of 12. With all the nannying I do, they're all I talk about! I already miss the ones which I have had to say good-bye to. Even if it is temporary, it is real. These little ones are so dear to my heart and I am walking away for about 7 weeks!

Some good news is that some of these moms have asked me to come back in fall. One even had me write down my school schedule and when I'd be willing to work for her! I am so stoked!!

Brayden has been so rewarding to work with. He can sometimes be the most stubborn and the most independent of the 12 kids, but that always leads to rewards. I discipline him but then I get to talk through it with him and then love on him so he knows it's simply his choices that were not good.

His brothers are simply adorable. I don't know what I would do if I didn't get to see them anymore. Thankfully their mom has asked me to return. Love those kids.

Please be praying for my homesickness. It will be hard, I know. It is always the hardest thing for me.

6 days. :)

little blessings

God truly did bless us with children, didn't He?

This summer, I am spending most of my time babysitting. I babysit for four different families. It comes out to a total of 10 kids this summer. They are all absolutely adorable (I haven't met 2 but I'm convinced they are) and such little blessings. Huge, actually, but they themselves are little.

Today I worked with a little boy named Brayden who was absolutely wonderful. He likes to play and talk and just have fun! He showed me how fast he can go on his tricycle as well as on his scooter. He hid behind me when we had a water fight. He showed me all his Star Wars toys. Also, he told me a scene by scene synopsis of Peter Pan. This kid was awesome.

His older brother Kyle is a blast, also. Kyle started the water fight with his friend Luke; Kyle also finished the water fight once I was thoroughly soaked (because I didn't have a water gun).

All in all, it was an awesome afternoon. Brayden sat down with me to eat his snack and told me which was his favorite, what color it was, and that the ground is dirty. Really, could you ask for more?

Don't ever take people for granted. Even when they're older and can be big pains (sometimes), they are blessings. Children capture God's playful side best as far as I'm concerned. I definitely saw that in 5 little boys today. :)

my thoughts thus far

So summer started last Monday for me. Back in high school I remember it started on the same day for everyone...not so any longer. This is college. haha. Anyway, I digress.

In the few days after school ended, I did many check outs, said good-bye to many friends, and began the (unnecessarily) long process of packing up my room.

And here I am. Still packing. Right now, however, I am at work. Yes, work. I officially have two jobs: babysitting three wonderful kids and "managing" the computer lab at my school. Fun times for sure!

I have adored "my" kids so far and I find the time at the computer lab to be a mix of the dull Saturdays and the hectic weekdays. It's a nice blend, really.

This summer I have a lot going on...

1) working as much as possible for the next 7 weeks.
2) taking a trip to Southeast Asia for 3 weeks.
3) NOT getting to visit family much.
4) visiting the Johnstones.
5) working as much as possible for the two weeks after I'm back from SE Asia.
6) Begin RA training.
7) Helping run NSO (New Student Orientation) in the fall.

I will probably see my family for a total of 5 full days this summer. Man, and I thought a few weeks with them wasn't much!

This summer is going to be a huge time of growth; I have no doubt. God is going to pull me, stretch me, and push me as much as I can take. At least, in all honesty, that's what I hope for. I want to grow. I want to learn more of Him. I want to use this summer as a time to really know my God.

I have a list of about 30 books to read this summer. I have doubts about accomplishing all of that goal, but a majority should be possible. I love to read and at least one of my jobs provides the opportunity to read quite a bit.

Currently sitting on my desk here at work are "Cultureshock!" and "The Princess Bride." I am hoping most of all to read "City of God" by St. Augustine this summer. It is by far my longest book. However, there is someone at my church also hoping to read this book during summer, as well. Maybe it can be a joint effort, an encouraging task, something actually fun despite the length.

See, my true love lies in philosophy. The more I get into these college years, the more I realize how much my heart longs to study it more and more. The love of knowledge. That truly describes my....well, I can't quite think of how I want to finish that sentence.

Anyway, philosophy is my side-reading. Rest assured that no matter where I am, I probably have a book by St. Augustine within arm's length. If not, it's probably just because I am taking a short respite. For awhile I wondered if I had gotten myself into the wrong major. Then I realized: No. Philosophy can be something I study and learn each and every day while psychology is giving me the tools I need to accomplish some of my goals in life. I don't need a degree in philosophy to learn all I want to learn of it.

On a sidenote: I am really missing some of my friends. Charity and Ruth especially. It's weird being in an (almost) empty cottage. Danie has been living with me while getting things settled to be a summer RA. But aside from Danie, and heaven knows our schedules are opposite, I am alone. I am glad we have gotten this time the last week though.

Music has become an even larger part of my life since finals week started. Whenever I have pressure going on all around me, music seems to be the answer. Then it just carries over for the next couple months. I probably won't be seen without my iPod close by this summer.

God is faithful. He always provides what you need. I have been thinking of this as we have been fundraising, etc. for our trip this summer.

Speaking of our trip...only 7 weeks left!!! I can hardly believe it. It is coming all too soon. I remember signing up last November and feeling like it was a lifetime away. Hmm. Time really does move so quickly. Especially when so much is going on.

Ever notice that spring semester moves by MUCH quicker than fall? I have noticed that during both of my years here. Strange. Anyway, those are my thoughts. More to come, I'm sure.

Campus Days 2008

So today was the infamous annual event called "Campus Days" here at my beloved CBU. I have fully come to appreciate it after experiencing today. Last year I was unable to attend due to work but this year I was a captain since I am an RA in the cottages.  :) There were some great memories made on our team. It was my cottages, Joe's cottages, and Courtney's cottages. I have to say that my team was simply amazing. Thanks, guys!!

Again, my team was awesome!! We were Dwight Schrute Army of Champions. We all wore glasses and Joe even dressed up...so I guess in a way, he was our team mascot. We had fun playing pictionary...

Also, we played oversized basketball...

After that, we went on to human foosball...which was amazing...Nelson was our goalie...

The guys also reenacted Iwo Jima...

We didn't win...but all in all it was a great day!!! :) I just wish I could have the same team again next year :)

Love you all!! Hope you do awesome on your finals!!!

Isn't it funny?

I find it sometimes downright entertaining how God goes about doing things. This last semester right into this semester is one such example.

My church is very missions driven. Honestly, I love it, but at first I resisted it. I didn't see the need for me to be involved. I had friends who were so why should I have to go, also? Someone's gotta stay here, right? Ugh. Yeah..sure.

Last semester, I met a boy named Jonathan who definitely challenged me to see missions differently. I was becoming more and more open to the idea but still resisted how much my church pushes missions. Really, it's nothing over the top. It's a good amount of pushing but I was resisting like no other. Then, at school, we had a speaker named David Platt who REALLY pushed us to realize that missions is a calling and that really, nowhere is "home" except for Heaven so why are we so concerned about where we are on this earth?

So David Platt pushed me to really realize that it is a command and that, really, I had been forcing down this huge desire to go. I have a gift for learning languages, I love people, my spiritual gift is encouragement, and I want other people to know the Christ I know. I want to go places, understand cultures, spread His glory, and love on people around the world. I was finally admitting it...

Then one Sunday at church, my friend Dain spoke about his trip to Rwanda. I remember with a surprising amount of clarity how much a statement of his struck me. The dumb choice on my part was to not write what that statement was. That is frustrating to me tonight because I really wish I did. However, I have some clues. I did write the following three statements:

1) "Sidenote: I just need to sign up. God will provide. Get over my fears and obey. Funny how your biggest fears become your greatest passion."

2) "Signed up: Southeast Asia. Greatest fear: Missions."

3) "Yet another push in the right direction of what I've been struggling with..."

Anyway, whatever Dain said pushed me that very day to sign up for a missions trip that was being offered. I didn't know Dain at the time, but then, he signed up for the same trip. I've gotten to hang out with him a few times. It's funny how God uses people you don't know, allows you to know them, and then just seems to bring things full circle.

Thanks, Dain, for that last little push. God is really working through you.

rollercoasters

Rollercoasters are awesome rides! I was scared of them until I turned 13 when I rode my first "big kids" rollercoaster with my sister in Oklahoma.

After that I was addicted but refused to ride them without her. Well, I went to Disneyland one summer with my parents, nephews, niece, and cousin. He is my age and he REALLY wanted to go on the California Adventure rollercoaster. What was I to do? I said yes and I rode it. I fell in LOVE with it!! Now I can't get enough of rollercoasters. They're my secret addiction.

Ever think about it? You ride a rollercoaster for the thrill. The adrenaline starts pumping, the screaming starts up, and it's a blast! But sometimes at first they seem so daunting.

My proposition is that life can be a rollercoaster. Sometimes they're nice and downhill and we're coasting. Sometimes they're uphill and take awhile to reach the top. And sometimes when we finally reach that summit, we plummet to the lowest point of the ride. And yet, we press on. We take heart and we keep going. Let us not forget that even when times are frustrating, sad, lonely, or overwhelming, we are not alone. Christ is right here with us and He is on this "rollercoaster" with us. Don't lose heart. Press on. You are not alone.

Brought to tears

This may seem like an out of the ordinary post...

Or just something you didn't expect...

Or maybe something you did expect. I really don't know...

Lately (about the last three weeks) Christ has really been softening my heart to Him and His word more and more. Growing up, my mom has always told me I have a soft heart to God's commands and the Holy Spirit. She says she has always seen that in me. Anyway, it has become softer.

Anytime I really sit down to spend time in God's word, I have been brought to tears by all that He has done...all that He does...all that He has promised to do in me. God's glory is so obvious in our lives but so often, in the past, I have bypassed it and never really paid much attention.

Not only has He brought me to tears multiple times in the last few weeks...He has also brought me to stand for my belief in Him. I have been fighting temptations left and right. I have never noticed how prevalent temptations are in my life!! They are everywhere! It is only by the grace of God that I walk away from them. Apart from Him I can do nothing. (John 15:6) Is that not so true?